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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Reasons why I haven't written...

I hope that you've all had a great holiday, and that you all spent time with family and friends.

For us, it's been a bit of a rough time, and I haven't really felt up to writing. If you've been following the blog for awhile, then you may be aware that I have some health issues, and lately I haven't been doing so well. And, this Christmas didn't really feel like Christmas at all - I spent a couple days in the hospital - and we never got around to buying a tree, or baking cookies - there was no hot cocoa or cheesy Christmas music - and right now, though I am feeling better - I am not at my best.

I don't want to write anything depressing in this space. I started this blog to share things that I enjoy, not to discuss anything upsetting. But, upsetting things do happen - and lately there has been a lot upsetting me. I feel as though every time I get sick I'm robbed of something - and I know that may sound selfish and self-centered, but I am just so fed up and angry. When I was younger and got sick- I could not study dance - which is what I wanted to do more than anything else. And, now that I am ill again- I may not be able to go to grad school. And - I'm scared that the next time I'm sick there is a real possibility that I may not pull through - and that I'll leave behind many things left undone.

I know that I am lucky for all the experiences I've had, all the places I've been able to travel to, and things I've been able to do, and above all I know I am extremely lucky to have married someone that I can laugh with, that I know is always there for me, and that I can share so many things with. It's just that times like these make it hard to be happy.

I will try to continue posting here - it's always great to read all of your comments - and share about the fun things out there. This is something that I enjoy and I don't intend to give it up. It just may be a bit before I can get back into it.

17 comments:

  1. Hang in there, Suzz! I think that's a totally justified feeling to have. I am sending intensely good thoughts your way - hopes for a speedy recovery and all sorts of great stuff on the other side. GO SUZZ!

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  2. You can do it!!!!! (sorry to be go all adam sandler on you here but it's appropriate no?!) Sorry to hear you haven't been well, It sounds serious. I want you to get better so I am also going to send you healing and positive thoughts. Txxx

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  3. Sorry to hear you've been ill. It's always hard, but especially during the holidays when it seems like everyone around you is celebrating things. But don't feel like you're being self-centered - you definitely have every right to feel angry! I can understand that, and I'm sure a lot of your readers can too. I hope things start getting better for you.

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  4. I hope you feel better soon! It is only natural to feel bummed when you are down for the count, but take good care of yourself and focus on the positive things to come!

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  5. Oh Suzz, I'm so sorry to hear your aren't feeling well! Nothing worse than being sick and missing out on a holiday. I hope you get well, and stay well - soon!!
    And I hope you get to do a few christmasy things before the season has past (because it hasn't yet, you could celebrate little christmas on january 6th).
    I would totally mail you some cookies if there was any chance of them making it cross country without reducing to crumbs.

    Miss hearing from you!
    -Lydia

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  6. Sorry to hear about your rough holiday, and that you're not feeling well. It sounds serious but hang in there. Besides the lovely husband and people you have in "real life", all of your readers are here to support you too! (:

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  7. I'm so so sorry that you've been ill, and I hope that you get better soon! *hugs*

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  8. Sorry to hear about your illness. I wish I could give you a big hug and get you some vegan hot chocolate. I'm hoping that you feel better soon and that medical science saves the day. I'm sending good health vibes.

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  9. Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear you've been ill. I hope you get better soon. It must be so frustrating to be mentally strong and full of ideas and plans, but not so physically strong.

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  10. Hoping that you overcome this and keeping you in my thoughts. Until then will miss your (blogging) voice.

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  11. I'm so sorry to hear you're not well. And though I don't know you very well, I do know you're a very tough, strong girl! Missing you here in blogland. <3

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  12. I haven't been keeping up with my blogroll lately, and am so sorry to hear that you've been ill! I hope that you are at least getting some answers and that you will be on the mend soon.

    Sending good thoughts your way!

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  13. Thank you all for your kind words. I'm really glad I didn't scare you all off! : ) I know it's not a fun thing to read on a blog. I'm doing my best to be positive and keep on doing the best I can. I am feeling lots better and am doing some Christmasy things now. Yesterday we baked banana chocolate chip muffins.

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  14. Being positive is essential! because you can't ruminate on things you can't change, and getting better is always there. So I hope you feel better sooner than later and feel yourself again. These wintery times are kind of blue for me too but I just try to look past it and not worry about presents or any of that weird stuff - just thinking about my family and people I love is enough.

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  15. my dearest. i'm sorry i have not been more present to support you better. you are strong! keep blogging when you can--love your words. xoxo.

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  16. I'm pretty new to the blog, so I wasn't aware of your health. I hope things are going a bit better now. I see that you were able to make banana chocolate chip muffins the other day and you are working hard to be positive. A good attitude can work wonders.

    The Auspicious Life

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  17. Oh no! I'm wishing you a speedy recovery and hope you two throw yourselves your very own little Christmas when you are feeling better!

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