i was, i was - & what's in a name

A few of you have asked why I call this blog La Fille D'or, and no it's not because I'm a huge fan of the Golden Girls (although this is true). Like many of you, I list Grey Gardens as one of my favorite movies- favorite stories really- and it is how I got the name for this blog, well part of the reason anyhow.

I recently watched the biopic Grey Gardens (yes, the one with Drew Barrymore) - and there is one scene (one scene that is at once heartbreaking, intense , frightening and then oddly humorous) where Jackie O. (Jeanne Tripplehorn) comes to pay a visit to and to save the family image after the state of Grey Gardens ends up in the papers. Barrymore begins to stroke the icon's hair, then leans over, practically spitting in her face, insisting that she was close to having the life that Jackie has, that she was once close to marrying Joe Kennedy (they had one dance together at a party). "I was the golden girl," she hisses as they sit outside in the ruins that was Grey Gardens.

There was such a sense of loss- in that scene. One that, and this is not meant to be morbid or pessimistic, that I feel that I share when I think about the past. Maybe we all do. We all have things we would have done differently. I gave up a lot and am now rebuilding. It is a story I may go into at sometime. It's a long one.

Which is not to say that I am not happy with where I am now, because I am! But it is a very different life than the one that had been mapped out for me.

But, enough on that- it's fashion week- I'll be posting related news throughout the week.

Lyrics to Objects Of My Affection :
I remember when, when i first moved here,
a long time ago,
´cause i heard some song i used to hear back then,
a lone time ago.
i remember when, even further back,
in another town,
´cause i saw something written i used to say back then,
hard to comprehend

and the question is, was i more alive
then than i am now?
i happily have to disagree;
i laugh more often now, i cry more often now,
i am more me.

but of cause some days, i just lie around
and hardly exist,
and can´t tell apart what i´m eating
from my hand or my wrist.
´cause flesh is flesh, flesh as flesh as flesh,
the difference is thin.
but life has a certian ability or breathing new
life into me,
so i breathe it in.
it says here we are, and we all are here,
and you still can make sense,
if you just show up and present an honest face,
instead of that grin.

and the other day, this new friend of mine
said something to me
"just because something starts differently,
doesn't mean it´s worth less."
and i soaked it in, how i soaked it in,
how i soaked it in
and just as to prove how right he was,
then you came.
so i´m gonna give, yes i´m gonna give,
i´m gonna give you a try,
so i´m gonna give, yes i´m gonna give,
i´m gonna give you a try